Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Lost Art of Discipline, Part IV.

What's good Pimpin'?

Toku "Pretty Boy" Gakure in here, getting ready to open up Tha Hall of Game on that azz!!

According to the Urban Dictionary:

2. game

1. pick up lines
2. skill
3. mojo/sexdrive

1. I'm feelin' ya game, I holla at you later.
2. Babyboy's got game, I don't think I can handle him.
3. Shit, baby, ya game is off...

3. game

ability; skillz; will to do something.

1. cuz you got no game son!
2. I've gots the mad game yo'!
3. quittin' on me? that's a sign of no game!

The Art of Discipline (and of love affairs in general), is indeed an art, and not a science. It's not something that is bound by hard and fast rules. It dwells in a shady grey area of timing, situation, and appropriateness.

Attempts to legislate The Art out of existence via Domestic Violence laws has resulted in countless numbers of ruined marriages and relationships. It has also led to massive discontent between men and women, for reasons we shall explore.

Please be sure to check out previous installments [1][2][3] of the series, as they lay the groundwork for what I am going to be speaking on today.

Also, this is going to be a long post. So if you need to, read some of it, chill, do something else, and come back for more. I won't be posting anything else until next weekend, so feel free to take your time.


Let's get to it.

Why Domestic Violence Laws Suck.

Here's the lie that has been drilled into our heads relentlessly by our modern Matriarchal society:

The typical woman wants, needs, and expects a man to always be nice, always be kind, never get angry or upset no matter what she does to him, to love her "unconditionally" and without judging, and to accept her no matter how she looks, acts, or behaves toward him or towards other people. And never, under any circumstances, is he to show strong emotions, to argue with her and win, or dispute the modern gospel that there is "no excuse for domestic violence."

This agreed upon code of male conduct has the force of law, thanks to the myriad of domestic violence laws passed by State legislatures.

From Texas:

71.004. Family Violence

"Family violence" means:(1) an act by a member of a family or household against another member of the family or household that is intended to result in physical harm, bodily injury, assault, or sexual assault or that is a threat that reasonably places the member in fear of imminent physical harm, bodily injury, assault, or sexual assault, but does not include defensive measures to protect oneself;(2) abuse, as that term is defined by Sections 261.001(1)(C), (E), and (G), by a member of a family or household toward a child of the family or household; or(3) dating violence, as that term is defined by Section 71.0021.

From Indiana:

IC 35-42-2-1.3

Domestic battery

Sec. 1.3.
(a) A person who knowingly or intentionally touches an individual who:
(1) is or was a spouse of the other person;
(2) is or was living as if a spouse of the other person as provided in subsection (c); or
(3) has a child in common with the other person;

in a rude, insolent, or angry manner that results in bodily injury to the person described in subdivision (1), (2), or (3) commits domestic battery, a Class A misdemeanor...

From Oregon:

Family Abuse Act

back to top107.705 Definitions

As used in ORS 107.700 to 107.735:

(1) “Abuse” means the occurrence of one or more of the following acts between family or household members:

(a) Attempting to cause or intentionally, knowingly or recklessly causing bodily injury.

(b) Intentionally, knowingly or recklessly placing another in fear of imminent bodily injury.

(c) Causing another to engage in involuntary sexual relations by force or threat of force.

(2) “Child” means an unmarried person who is under 18 years of age.

(3) “Family or household members” means any of the following:

(a) Spouses.

(b) Former spouses.

(c) Adult persons related by blood, marriage or adoption.

(d) Persons who are cohabiting or who have cohabited with each other.

(e) Persons who have been involved in a sexually intimate relationship with each otherwithin two years immediately preceding the filing by one of them of a petition under ORS 107.710.

(f) Unmarried parents of a child.

(4) “Interfere” means to interpose in a manner that would reasonably be expected to hinder or impede a person in the petitioner's situation.

(5) “Intimidate” means to act in a manner that would reasonably be expected to threaten a person in the petitioner's situation, thereby compelling or deterring conduct on the part of the person.

(6) “Menace” means to act in a manner that would reasonably be expected to threaten a person in the petitioner's situation.

(7) “Molest” means to act, with hostile intent or injurious effect, in a manner that would reasonably be expected to annoy, disturb or persecute a person in the petitioner's position.

As we can see, Domestic Violence laws vary from state to state, but they generally prohibit individuals in relationships from committing certain actions towards their partner.

Since our modern day laws are written as public policy, society has decreed that we should modify our conduct in such a way as to not violate these laws.

If we ignore the well documented fact [4][5][6] that these various statutes are written and enforced in such a way as to violate the Natural Rights of men, there is still the question of the unintended consequences of such legislation, and if this is a policy that the public truly wishes to live by.

Does the typical woman really want a man who complies with the letter and the spirit of these laws? If men strictly adhere to these rules and guide their conduct accordingly, is this what society really needs and wants in order to survive and thrive? Will this code of conduct contribute to the ultimate stability of long term relationships?

If we accept that the letter of the Domestic Violence law is the lowest level of human development, does the public at large want the "virtues" that these laws help to shape?

My answer to this question is: No, the typical woman would never tolerate the existence of these laws for any period of time if the average couple on the street followed the law to the letter.

Note that I said, If, not when. The fact of the matter is that normal everyday people violate these codes day in and day out. Couples choose to keep their private infractions private instead of picking up the phone and requesting police assistance. Indeed, most couples involve police action either when things are obviously out of control and outside intervention is needed, or when the requester desires to “punish” a wayward lover via the Domestic Violence industry.

Furthermore, Joe and Jane Sixpack, more often than not, mutually agree to violate Domestic Violence laws. Usually, this comes as a result of drinking, staying out too late the night before, hitting on Jane's sister or staring too long at Joe's brother, or some other long suppressed grudge.

Next thing you know, Jane is trying to cut Joe, Joe is pimp-smacking the crap out of Jane, the happy couple ends up in the middle of the street, the police show up, for the tenth time, to restore order, and somebody, probably Joe, ends up taking a ride to the County Jail.

Some time later, the State dismisses the case, or cuts a deal with Joe because Jane refuses to co-operate. The Prosecutor tries her best to proceed with the hearing, but without Jane's testimony, there isn't much to go on. The Judge has 18 additional hearings today, and the facts of these cases are very similar to Joe's. No witness, minimal co-operation from the "victim", a limited number of funds, Prosecutors, and Public Defenders, and no end in sight to the case load.

Joe's Public Defender offers him a plea-bargain that results in some time at the County Jail. Credit is given for time already served. The Court Officers accept the deal, since they have 18 other cases to try, and the evidence against Joe is shaky at best.

The Judge sentences Joe to some jail time, and fines him some dollars. Case closed.

While Joe is in jail, Jane stops by to put some Commissary money on his books. They laugh, cry, and argue during visitation and collect phone calls. He threatens to "Kick yo' ass once I get outta here." Jane's response is, "bring it on Muthafucka!"

It must be true love.

At the end of the day, Joe gets out of jail. Maybe Jane will leave him for some other guy, or maybe they will kiss and make up, only to fight again once they start sippin' that Old Skool Malt Liquor.

Some might ask me to prove this little passion play. The only thing I can advise you is to go downtown and observe your Domestic Violence courts in action. Talk to Judges, Prosecutors, Public Defenders, and Defendants. Read Police Reports by the stack.

Do all of these things, like I do, day in and day out, and you will get a better picture as to how inefficient, wasteful, and futile our Domestic Violence laws really are. You will see the abuses of Constitutional rights on a daily basis. You will note that the vast majority of cases DO NOT involve serious or life-threatening injury. You will note how many cases involved a woman scorned who pulls out all the stops in an attempt to get her current or former lover fucked up.

How soon we forget that Hell Hath no Fury...

So what are you saying Pretty Boy? you wonder. That battery, assault, and violent crimes against intimate partners should be abolished?

Absolutely not.

As I wrote previously:

... some people unilaterally impose their will upon their partners. They do not obtain consent to do what they do. They are angry, reckless, and out of control. They inflict pain and injury indiscriminately. These people may escalate their violence in order to keep the unwilling victim in line.

Now these are the folks that, when they violate perfectly good laws such as battery, assault, breaking and entering, stalking, murder and attempted murder, and the like, should be arrested if probable cause is present, they should receive a fair trial with equal protection and due process of law, and if found guilty by a jury of their peers, suffer the consequences thereof.

These people are the ones who need treatment and counseling, and their victims need the same, as some people become addicted to the pain and the torment they receive...

My issues with Domestic Violence legislation are that they are unconstitutional (VAWA), poorly written, and provide all kinds of loopholes that tempt people into abusing them. In addition, if someone files a false DV complaint, there is no consequence for doing so to my knowledge. This lack of accountability encourages feuding couples to use these laws as weapons.

Another aspect of DV laws, which has been largely neglected, is that the ideological basis of these codes, and the way in which they are enforced, is yet another reason why they are completely intolerable and need to be either reformed significantly or abolished altogether.

People are not stupid. The vast majority has a common sense understanding of right and wrong; irrespective of what the law says. As we said at the beginning of this series, Virtue is more important than the Law.

It is my firm opinion that we really don't need most of the laws we have on the books now. If humanity obeyed the Universal Law, such as the Ten Commandments, the 42 Negative Confessions, or a similar moral code that compels humanity to ever increasing levels of goodness and morality, then the vast portion of the Law would only need concern itself with technical matters that would not apply except in specialized circumstances.

I say again, the vast majority of laws are irrelevant, so it doesn't matter if they are on the books or not. In essence, these irrelevant laws, more often than not, become tools of Tyranny, i.e. the War on Drugs, Feminist Jurisprudence, etc. If we compare our volumes of legal statutes against what the law should be, we will find that we have encumbered ourselves with a great manner of useless laws that only serve to make matters worse.

So getting back to the subject matter at hand, most individuals who are objective, rational, in possession of true and correct facts, and know how to discern real life from tiresome feminist rantings are able to judge what is reasonable and what is excessive.

Police Officers, once upon a time, had the discretion as to whether or not he would arrest someone for a domestic disturbance. If he determined that there was no probable cause to make the arrest, he would sternly warn the happy couple to chill out or get locked up.

If it was obvious to him, based on his training and experience, that bodily harm was imminent if he did not take action, he could make the arrest in order to diffuse the situation. If it was clear that he was called to a residence at the insistence of a woman who wanted to simply "get even" with her "bastard of a husband", he could let her know that calling 911 for a non emergency situation was against the law, or arrest her for making a false report.

Case closed.

However, modern Domestic Violence statutes are based upon flawed, biased, and malicious feminist ideology. The totalitarian and anti-male philosophy of feminism is the "spirit" of today's domestic violence policies.

The criminal justice system, from the Officer on the street to the sentencing Judge, has been taught, incorrectly, that women are the majority of the victims, that men are the majority of the perpetrators; and that men abuse women in order to gain or uphold some form of male patriarchal dominant state, an idea that has been discredited by hundreds of irrefutable studies [7][8] .

As a result, these laws are enforced in a spirit of persecution and vengeance, and not in a spirit of justice, fairness, and appropriateness. Throwing the book at someone because in a fit of anger they said something rude or insolent to their spouse is not appropriate, or in society's best interest, at times and in all cases.

This is why we have a jury system, so that the citizens themselves can judge the laws and the facts of any given case. We know, as human beings, that there are behaviors which cannot be justified. I cannot write on this blog that we should turn a blind eye to a woman who, without any provocation, stabs a man repeatedly, throws him down a flight of stairs, and sets fire to his house, all in front of his children. Even if I could marshal arguments as to why such a woman is morally justified to commit such heinous acts of violence, it would be rightfully dismissed by society at large.

In the same spirit, individuals (not academics, feminists, or politicians) can discern the difference between scolding one's wife for her abusive and destructive behaviors versus destroying an innocent wife's self esteem and self image in a twisted attempt to inflict psychological abuse upon her. This intelligent discernment has long been recognized in the spiritual and legal spheres. Cruelty, in various times and places, is grounds for divorce, and is recognized as a specific and punishable offense.

The issue here is that feminist propaganda has caused normally rational individuals to avoid using their faculties of intelligent discernment when it comes to DV issues. The man who dares to chastise his wife for her ruinous shopaholic syndrome is automatically labeled an “abuser”, and suffers the penalties thereof. Nevermind that his actions would be clearly justified by the situation he found himself in.

As another example, breaking someone's arm because they came home at 3 A.M. with strange phone numbers in their cell phone is clearly unacceptable conduct. On the other hand, most people would agree that grabbing someone's arms and holding them in your lap to stop a violent attack on your person is not unacceptable conduct. However, the attacker, if she is female and an intimate partner, might very well succeed in prosecuting you under Domestic Violence legislation for your justified act of self defense.

In summary, although Domestic Violence laws have been enacted to suppress certain behaviors, they ultimately fail because they stifle actions that human beings need to do in order to sustain a healthy long term relationship. In their zeal to transform human beings into angels who are without blemish and conflict, they contain no real understanding of how men and women interact with one another. And because these laws have been created in a climate that allows for no compassion, understanding, rationality, or discernment, most people either ignore these statutes (to their legal peril), or go to great lengths to keep their "illegal" interactions secret and out of public view. None of this is good for society in the long term.

Conflicts, which are an inevitable part of any relationship, are avoided at all costs (to avoid the legal liabilities). This leads to the premature termination of the pairing as frustration, anger, and unexpressed negative feelings stay bottled up inside in order to adhere to the new Matriarchal social standard.

What’s worse, these laws classify genuine discipline with unacceptable violent behavior as criminal acts. The man who attempts to correct his wife’s drinking problem is lumped in with the woman who belittles her husband’s manhood and honor day after day for no reason at all. The man who unlawfully stalks and threatens to murder an ex-lover is legally equivalent to the man who visits a separated spouse to plead for her to come home and resume their married life.

This is the great failure of feminist public policy. There is no intelligence, there is no forgiveness, there is no room for appropriate discipline, and there is no understanding of the love that exists between the typical man and the typical woman.

Unfortunately for social engineers, feminists, metro-sexuals and nice guys, the typical woman isn't looking for a "New Man." She very much prefers, in knowledge or in ignorance, a man that is going to give her the feedback, leadership, and discipline that she craves. And no amount of feminist legislation can alter this fact.

Bitches, and why women don’t want them.

According to the Urban Dictionary:


(1) Word used to describe the act of whining excessively.

(2) Person who rides specifically in the middle of a front-seatting only car meant for 2 passengers or less.

(3) Modern-day servant; A person who performs tasks for another, usually degrading in status.

(4) Term used to exclaim hardship.

(1) "Stop bitching Todd!"
(2) "Can I ride bitch?"
(3) "Bring my friend and I some vodka bitch"
(4) *Peron tells story to other cellmate, depicting how they came to be there, cellmate says* "Ain't that a Bitch!"


  • An exceedingly whipped guy who does/wears/thinks/says whatever his girlfriend tells him to.

Now that we've defined what a Bitch is, we will attempt to explain why the typical woman absolutely despises such a man. With a tip of the hat to the guys at Don't Get Married, I wanted to share this interesting paper entitled, About Domestic Violence Against Men:

What Are The Characteristics Of Women Who Are Abusive And Violent?

The characteristics of men or women who are abusive fall into three categories.

* Alcohol Abuse. Alcohol abuse is a major cause and trigger in domestic violence. People who are intoxicated have less impulse control, are easily frustrated, have greater misunderstandings and are generally prone to resort to violence as a solution to problems. Women who abuse men are frequently alcoholics.

* Psychological Disorders. There are certain psychological problems, primarily personality disorders, in which women are characteristically abusive and violent toward men. Borderline personality disorder is a diagnosis that is found almost exclusively with women. Approximately 1 to 2 percent of all women have a Borderline Personality disorder. At least 50% of all domestic abuse and violence against men is associated with woman who have a Borderline Personality disorder. The disorder is also associated with suicidal behavior, severe mood swings, lying, sexual problems and alcohol abuse.

* Unrealistic expectations, assumptions and conclusions. Women who are abusive toward men usually have unrealistic expectations and make unrealistic demands of men. These women will typically experience repeated episodes of depression, anxiety, frustration and irritability which they attribute to a man's behavior. In fact, their mental and emotional state is the result of their own insecurities, emotional problems, trauma during childhood or even withdrawal from alcohol.

They blame men rather than admit their problems, take responsibility for how they live their lives or do something about how they make themselves miserable.
They refuse to enter treatment and may even insist the man needs treatment. Instead of helping themselves, they blame a man for how they feel and believe that a man should do something to make them feel better. They will often medicate their emotions with alcohol. When men can't make them feel better, these women become frustrated and assume that men are doing this on purpose...

Right on the money!

The paper continues:

A Common Dynamic: How Violence ERUPTS

There are a number of commonly reported interactions in which violence against men erupts. Here is one example that illustrates a common dynamic.

The woman is mildly distressed and upset. The man notices her distress and then worries she may become angry. The woman attempts to communicate and discuss her feelings. She wants to talk, feel supported and feel less alone. She initially attributes some of her distress or problems to him. The man begins to feel defensive, shuts down emotionally and attempts to deal with the problems rationally. He feels a fight is coming on.The woman feels uncared for, ignored and then gets angry. She wants him to share the problem and he doesn't feel he has a problem.

The man will attempt to remain unemotional and stay in control of himself
. He avoids accepting any blame for how she feels. He is also worried that she may explode at any moment and that she will certainly do so if he talks about his feelings. The man will start talking about her problem as if she could feel better if she would only listen to him and stop acting so upset. He fails to understand how she feels and tries to remain calm. He tells her to calm down and ends up looking insensitive. She begins to wonder if he has any feelings at all. She tells him that he thinks he's perfect. He says he is not perfect. She calls him insensitive. He stares at her and says nothing but looks irritated.

The woman is frustrated that he won't reveal his feelings and that he acts like he is in control. On the other hand, the man feels out of control and like there is no room for anybody's feelings in the conversation but hers. Communication breaks down and the woman begins to insult the man. When the man finally expresses his disapproval and attempts to end the fight. The woman becomes enraged and may throw something. The man will usually endure insults and interactions like this for weeks or months.

This whole pattern becomes a recurrent and all too familiar experience. The man becomes increasingly sensitive to how the woman acts and becomes avoidant and unsupportive. The man begins to believe that there is nothing he can do and that it may be all his fault. His frustration and anger can build for months like this.

This risk of violence increases when the woman insults the man in front of their children, threatens the man's relationship with his children, or she refuses to control her abusive behavior when the children are present. She may call him a terrible father or an awful husband in front of the children. Eventually he feels enraged not only because of how she treats him, but how her behavior is harming the children.

At some point the man may throw something, punch a wall, or slam his fist down loudly to vent his anger and to communicate that he has reached his limits. Up till now she has never listened to what he had to say. He decides that maybe she will stop if she can see just how angry he has become. Rather than recognizing that he has reached his limits, expressing his anger physically has the opposite effect. For a long time the man has tried to hide his anger.

Why should the woman believe he really means it? After all, he has put up with her abuse for a long time and done nothing.
Instead of realizing that things have gotten out of control, the woman may approach him and say something like, "What are you gonna do. Hit me? Go ahead. I'll call the police and you'll never see your children again." Once he expressed his anger physically, the situation became dangerous for him and for her. The door to violence has opened wide. He should walk away. When he does walk away, she ends up more angry than ever, will scream obscenities at him and strike him repeatedly. She may even strike him with an object...

Let's take a moment to examine why this dynamic occurs, and how the man could have handled things differently.

Women who abuse men are frequently alcoholics.

Alcohol is a dangerous, yet legal drug that has killed countless numbers of people throughout history. On the other hand Cannabis, an illegal drug, is so friendly to mankind that there are no confirmed cases of human beings dying from its use [9][10].

In addition, the Cannabis plant helps men and women "get a little closer," and it is a powerful stress reliever [11][12]. Methinks that if womankind switched over from Brew to Bud, maybe there would be less incidents of this kind.

In addition, if a man sees that his woman has a drinking problem, he needs to get on her immediately, and recommend that she obtain counseling to deal with it. If her condition worsens, more drastic action, including terminating the relationship, needs to be considered.

What I would like to stress above all is when one deals with women, one has to nip any and all negative developments in the bud as soon as possible before things spiral out of control.

Under no circumstances can you allow problems to fester. You have to find out what the problem is, determine the best course of action, and deal with it. And curiously, one will find that the typical woman is expecting you to clue in and pay attention to her issues without being told to do so. The solution might be nothing more than listening to her and saying "yeah" or "ok" when she needs to get something off her chest. But allowing problems to sit on the back burner is a recipe for Mission Failure, if you know what I mean.

Borderline personality disorder is a diagnosis that is found almost exclusively with women.

Again, the man has to solve this problem sooner rather than later. If an adjustment is needed, then the Art of Discipline becomes swift and decisive corrective action. If his woman needs counseling to deal with her personality issues, then get out there and Git Er Done! If she doesn't want to act right and things continually get worse, then separating the chick from your squad and leaving her the hell alone is the wisest course of action.

Unrealistic expectations, assumptions and conclusions. Women who are abusive toward men usually have unrealistic expectations and make unrealistic demands of men... They blame men rather than admit their problems, take responsibility for how they live their lives or do something about how they make themselves miserable...

As the Mighty Marc Rudov often notes, today's woman has been raised with a severe Princess complex. Their mothers and their fathers have withheld the rod of discipline, and have utterly spoiled the child. This kind of woman has probably been beating up boys since she was a child, and she's not going to treat you any differently!

As an example of our toxic society at work, films of women beating up hordes of muscular men are commonplace. Commercials portray women as know it alls who have to solve every problem, be up on every trend, balance work, family, and social obligations, and supervise husband and kids... all without breaking a sweat.

If I were a woman, I would probably be sick and tired of trying to do all of the things we expect women to do in our modern culture. No wonder that the most common drugs prescribed to women are Anti-depressants!

Something else I should point out... the female brain is heavily influenced and dependent upon the quality of her relationships with others. So to say that women should just "Man-Up" and sort out her issues entirely on her own isn't that realistic to me. Considering the volume of responsibilities (Career, family, education, housekeeping, etc) that society places on them, it seems logical that a woman is going to need the assistance of parents, family, friends, and her husband in order to help her to reorient her negative attitudes, beliefs, and expectations, and keep them centered on the positive.

After all, no woman is an island.

This is where her husband, the man who has pledged before God and man to be there for her, comes into the picture. It seems counter intuitive to say this, but a wife needs her husband to provide meaningful feedback, advice, and yes, even correction when she needs it (after all, wives correct their husbands all the time). And what's more, she expects his feedback to be different from what her girlfriends would advise her to do or to feel. If she wanted her husband to be womanly in thought, word, and deed, she would have chosen to be with a woman. She is looking to you, my good man, to supply her with that Manliness she needs to be complete.

Unfortunately, due to the unholy combination of feminist jurisprudence and widespread social brainwashing, the typical gal cannot receive the authentic Manliness she desires. Many a man, in order to conform to what is expected of him, has suppressed his manliness and has morphed into a "Nice Guy" who is unwilling to rock the boat and express his opinion, especially if it contradicts what his woman wants to do.

Consequently, many young women have resorted to hook-ups and bad boys in a futile quest to experience genuine manliness. So the Good Girls go with Bad Boys, and the Nice Guy, who would do anything for her, winds up out in the cold.

So what do these Bad Boys do that the Nice Guys don't?

More on that in part V!

Toku "Pretty Boy" Gakure.


Anonymous said...

I think the upper-class equivalent is the way that girls go for the guys who seem to be the most predatory, the most self-serving, the most likely to swindle. These guys are sharks in suits -- they don't do pimp-slapping, as far as I can tell, but they have that "bad boy" vibe. Whereas the lower-class bad boy does his own violence, the "sharks in suits" rely on twisted laws and cut-outs to get other people to do it.

Anonymous said...

"Indeed, if our natural perceptions were not distorted by 40 years of feminist cant about "women leaders," it would be perfectly obvious that most women feel a strong need for guidance, and this is one reason marriage is so important for their happiness. Their rage and frustration with men today is partly owing to men's failure to provide them with the loving but firm leadership they require."

Togakure said...


I couldn't agree more. Bad Boys come in many varieties... I think it is a question of style.

Also that quote... right on the money. I've confirmed on many an occasion that this rage women feel towards men is quite real.

Counter intuitive, but altogether true.