IT was November, and a chill had come with the setting of the sun. We walked into the local pub, which looked remarkably like those I had frequented when I vacationed in Cambridge, England many years ago.
We were quickly shown to a table, somewhat close to the fireplace. The pub's interior created a very cozy atmosphere. Couples and families were drinking and laughing loudly, the gents dressed in coats and sweaters, the women wearing those interesting multicolored scarves that fall to the knees.
All in all, it was a scene of great merriment, however I found myself tuning it all out to focus on the young lady sitting across from me. Her shiny black hair was neatly trimmed, in the carefully organized randomness that is the epitome of Japanese fashion. Classical Kyoto features and white skin further highlighted this living embodiment of contrasts. A tasteful tan trench coat covered a most interesting colored sweater, which shimmered in the darkness like a white pearl. The light seemed to seek her out, seemed to favor and hug her frame very tightly.
None of this was any surprise to me.
Anyone who has spent time among Japanese women quickly learns that they have the uncanny ability to put together the most devastating of outfits that entrance the eye, and sooth the soul.
After ordering beer and appetizers, we began to talk about a variety of subjects...
Welcome back to Kumogakure school! In this installment of A Day in the Life, we will cover some important points that men must consider when choosing the foreign bride of thier dreams.
One of the most important, but yet very much overlooked, things that you must do is to thoroughly NEGOTIATE all aspects of your married life with your potential wife. This is something that, unfortunately, our culture does not emphasize. We are brainwashed to make the most important decision in life on a whim.
I don't know much, but I know I love you,
And that may be all I need to know.
I don't know much, but I know I love you,
And that may be all there is to know.
What madness is this??
In the vast majority of the world, such reasoning would be condemned as foolishness. So then, how on Earth is it possible, in this the most educated and information rich society, to love someone, and to MARRY them, and know nothing about them?
It's this kind of "I don't care" attitude that gets guys into trouble. In case anyone has any doubt about the consequences of making the wrong decision, they should stop here and read what Marc Rudov has to say about the costs of failure here.
Marriage, to any woman, American or foreign, is a decision that you cannot afford to screw up.
Ironically, those strange and twisted BDSM players have a better approach to relationships than those of us in the "Vanilla" world.
Why do I say that?
Simple. In BDSM, before any kinky stuff takes place, the parties enter into thorough negotiations  that exhaustively cover every aspect of the relationship from start to finish. Done correctly, BDSM style negotiations leave nothing to chance, and all parties have agreed to the terms and the nature of their relationship, in advance.
If any party does not agree to a key provision, then at that point, the potential partners go their separate ways. This is crucial.
Understand gentlemen, that women have the verbal advantage, and they do not hesitate to negotiate the most favorable terms they can get from any prospective partner. It is inherent for most women to attempt to portray themselves in the best possible light, no matter how much dirt she may have done in the past. To complicate matters further, women have a very bad habit of shutting down a man's sincere inquiries by means of Shaming Language.
What I mean by this is that a man's legitimate needs, wants, and desires, if they conflict with what a woman wants, are automatically labeled as sexist, controlling, insecure, so forth and so on. For men who have been raised to never question what a woman wants, such language is all that is needed to silence all dissent. Unfortunately, this lack of dialogue usually leads to some very unpleasant surprises for the man once he says "I Do".
Negotiation is crucial, but having the willpower to walk away from the negotiation table is even more important. Foreign men from non feminist cultures have a basic set of rules, expectations, and behaviors that their potential wives MUST exhibit, and so must you. If, during the process of negotiations, your sweetie does not, or cannot meet the basic requirements that are the most important to you, then you have to be prepared to let her go her own way.
Is this hard? Yes.
Will you be rejected frequently? Yes.
Will you find that woman who is willing to agree to your reasonable, common sense terms and conditions? Yes, but it will take time and effort to find her. Your ancestors believed strongly  in finding a "proper match," and so must you, if you wish to survive this modern death trap that is commonly referred to as marriage.
I understand that this approach is radically different from what our culture tells us to do, but I can assure you that the rewards of careful discussion and negotiation are far greater than you can possibly imagine.
I also realize that to implement this style is difficult, however as they say:
Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.
... Our food arrived promptly. Fish and Chips for me, Salad and some of my Fish and Chips for her. The fish was flavorful, and the batter crisp and buttery. The house Porter brew was excellent; dark, rich, with a hint of chocolate.
She inquired about my studies, my future plans and goals, and my interests. I inquired about her life in Japan, her University studies, and her family background...
When courting your beloved, it is also paramount that you find out about her family. The best indicator of whether or not your relationship will succeed or fail depends upon:
A) The marital status of her parents
B) Whether or not her parents gave her the proper training and discipline needed to be a good wife.
It is common knowledge that if a woman comes from a single parent or divorced household, then she herself is more likely to divorce you.
According to Divorcemag:
Percentage of women whose parents were divorced who get divorced within 10 years as of 1995: 43%
Percentage of women whose parents stayed together who get divorced within 10 years as of 1995: 29%
As we read in the study : Family Matters: Family Structure and Child Outcomes:
Children whose parents divorced between the ages of 7 and 22 were more likely to report emotional problems compared to children whose parents stayed together.
And according to Divorce Reform:
"Children who grow up in single-parent homes are less likely to marry, more likely to divorce, and more likely to have children outside of wedlock."
Daniel T. Lichter et al., "Race and the Retreat from Marriage: A Shortage of Marriageable Men?" American Sociological Review 57 (December 1992): 781-799. Cited on page27 of The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher.
In surveys conducted by the National Opinion Research Center, researchers found that white female children of divorce were 60 percent more likely to undergo divorce or separation in adulthood than a similar population from intact families. The divorce/separation rate for white male children of divorce was 35 percent higher than for white male children from intact families.
Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum. citing N.D. Glenn and K.B. Kramer, "The marriages and divorces of the children of divorce," Journal of Marriage and the Family, 49, pp. 811-825. Cited in Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D., "The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children: A Review," Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, May 1991, p. 357.
If your bride to be is from a single parent or a divorced family, then she is definitely NOT marriage material. While this may sound cold and callous, the fact of the matter is that the price of failure in our day and age is simply too high, for you and for your children. Dating such women is fine, but marrying such a woman could be fatal.
You owe it to yourself, your family, your loved ones, and your unborn children not to place yourself at risk for the sake of political correctness, feminist brainwashing, or uncontrolled lust. Your duty, my good man, is to LIVE.
In addition to family structure, you need to find out whether or not her parents provided her with the basic training that a woman needs to be a wife.
For example, one of my good Korean friends has a Korean girlfriend from Hell. She doesn't cook, she doesn't clean, she gives him orders, she ignores him, she disrespects him... in other words, she is the kind of woman who displays all the red flags that smart men ignore like the plague.
It goes without saying that we all know what happens to the married man when his wife doesn't respect him.
So what happened? This is a Korean girl, born and raised. She comes from a two parent family.
Isn't Korea a traditional Confucian male dominated wasteland?? Why then is this girl just as bad as 85% of the American girls out here?
This is a classic example of parents (especially fathers, who traditionally have had the disciplinarian role) not doing what they are supposed to do:
Teach their daughters how to respect themselves and to form healthy relationships with men, and instruct them on essential matters such as how to run a household, and respect their future husband. Indeed, a great many fathers (influenced by feminist idealism no doubt) spoil their daughters to the point where they learn that they will NEVER be held accountable for thier actions, and that they have free rein to do whatever they please, no matter who gets hurt.
In comparison, my wife's family, especially her mother, strictly instructed her on how to run a household, and how to treat a man. She cooks, cleans, makes food from scratch, organizes, manages household finances, beautifies... all thanks to her parents, who, from an early age, instructed her how to be a good wife. And these qualities are what you need to be looking for when you enter into negotiations with your future spouse. To use old fashioned language, your foreign wife must be of good family, good breeding, AND of good manners.
... After dinner ended, we pushed our plates away and began to make small talk about nothing of all. As I looked at this woman, I was secretly warmed in my heart. A man such as myself is difficult, and I am well aware of this. I had come to expect the worst from women, but this girl was like a cool, refreshing draught of mountain spring water on a hot summer's day.
I realized then that this was the woman I had been searching for.
We left the warm pub and stepped into the darkness. The lights danced in the windows, bidding us a good night, and good morrow.